From MayoClinci.com
Special to CNN.com
If you find that your angry outbursts are negatively affecting your relationships with family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers, it’s probably time to change the way you express anger.
Here are some tips to get your anger under control:
You can practice many of these strategies on your own. But if your anger seems out of control, is hurting your relationships or has escalated into violence, you may benefit from seeing a psychotherapist or an anger management professional. Role-playing in controlled situations, such as anger management classes, can help you practice your techniques.
It may take come time and intense effort to put these tips into practice when you’re facing situations that typically send you into a rage. In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to remember your coping strategies.
You may need to keep something with you that serves as a reminder to step back from the situations and get your anger under control. For instance, you may want to keep a small, smooth stone in your pocket or scrap of paper with your tips written down, With due diligence, these anger management techniques will come more naturally and you’ll no longer need such reminders.
Relationships That Work: How to Get Along with People Who Drive You Crazy
By Shari Peace (www.hodu.com)
Don’t let your productivity take a nosedive because someone in the office is putting you in a foul mood! These tried and tested tactics will help you see even the thorniest of conflicts in a new light.
Question: What percentage of your bad moods at work are caused by conflicts?
Answer: About 80 percent (if you’re like the typical person).
Think about how those conflicts wreck your work. You slip into an angry or frustrated mood and suddenly your productivity takes a nosedive.
It makes sense, then, that doing your part to strengthen relationships can boost your results: Fix the conflict, feel better, get more done. And, of course, the tougher the relationship is, the bigger the payoff in working to make it a little better.
Try these tips to make even the thorniest relationships easier to handle.
It isn’t necessary to like all your coworkers, but it is necessary to treat everyone with respect. The best way to respect someone is to discover their strengths, skills, or contributions; then, focus on those instead of what you don’t like.
The more you can recognize a person’s good qualities, the easier it is to show them genuine respect.
Sometimes, two people who don’t get along can-over time- grow into friends. On the other hand, sometimes relationships simply remain stuck and difficult. But if you make even small, incremental changes that cut down the stress and conflict on each side, you can consider your efforts a success.
It’s easy to think the other person should change. If they do, that’s a bonus. But since that may not happen, concentrate on what you can contribute to constructing a relationship that’s as good as possible.
Imagine that you aren’t getting information you need from another department, and it’s causing your work to suffer. You may presume the other department is lazy, or doesn’t care or is trying to sabotage your success.
Instead of attacking the people involved, attack the problem. Suggest a meeting to determine what the problem is and why you aren’t getting the information. The real problem may be short staffing or system problems- or they may not be getting the information they need from someone else.
You’ll stay solution-oriented and engage others with your professionalism intact.
Know any crabs? They’re the type of people for whom nothing is ever right, good enough, or “fixable.” Stay determined to prevent the “crabs” from pulling you down to their level. Use these 5 steps:
1. Try to understand why they’re negative. They may be dealing with a serious like issues. Understanding may help you be more sympathetic and less frustrated.
2. Talk to them about it. Tell them you’ve noticed they have seemed a little down and offer to help. They may not open up, but it’s often helpful just to know that someone cares. It will also give them a tactful heads-up as to how they’re coming across (they simply may not realize their attitude is affecting others).
3. Avoid them if the situation doesn’t improve.
4. Remove them from your environment (if possible and truly necessary).
5. Have a “recovery plan.” If steps 1-3 above haven’t worked, and you can’t remove them (which is often the case with a coworker), have a plan for how you’ll replenish your good mood after you come into contact with them. A recovery plan will at least cut your “down time” – for example, you may be upset for 30 minutes rather than for 4 hours.
Say “thanks,” give a compliment or pass the praise. Feeling appreciated is the No.1 motivator for most employees. While that recognition can and should come from managers, every employee can contribute with quick moral boosters.
Keep your attitude as positive as possible, whatever your circumstances
It’s easy to think your attitude is determined by other people and by uncontrollable events in your life. But if that’s true, you’ve lost control. Stay resolved to be as happy as possible, for just five minutes at a time. You’ll feel better and be easier to get along with
Shari Peace is an international speaker, an author and the president of Peace Talks, a professional speaking firm that helps people and organizations get more done with less stress. Her book, Crank It Out, features tips for sharper time management and increased productivity. She can be reached at http://sharipeace.com.
Article source: http://EzinceArticles.com/